Posted by on Feb 15, 2016 in Family, God and Faith, Grief, Hope, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Hi friends… Mallory is the first mama joining me in this mission to help other bereaved parents. Her handmade {with love & prayers} crochet heart Hope garlands will be available on here to purchase VERY soon… {more details at the end of this post} 

Here’s her story… 
[This time last year my stomach and heart physically hurt From fear.

We knew something was wrong.

We found out at our OB/GYN appointment that told us Bo was a boy. (Even though we didn’t know “he” was a “he” until the cake cutting) They (the Drs) called me back in the room alone and told me something was wrong with our baby. I couldn’t understand her words. I tried. But I just couldn’t. I had to go get Tim from the waiting room and have them explain it again. I couldn’t move. I was numb. I was mad. Scared. Shocked. Hurt. Nervous. I wasn’t happy. I was nothing. I felt nothing…

I felt… defeated.

Jump forward to Cake cutting day, The day we found out in front of our friends if our baby was a BOY or a GIRL….I remember walking through the kitchen feeling like I really didn’t even care. But not in the sense of, “Oh, we don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy, We are just so over the moon that we are having a baby” type care. It was an angry, “I hate life and I don’t care.” Pink. Blue. This is Stupid. Who cares! My baby is sick. Nobody knows about this and I’m going to have to fake it at this stupid party. I have to act happy and act like I care if it’s pink or blue, what I care about is if my baby is going to stay alive! 

Before the first guest arrived, I felt panicked. It was hard to breathe. Tim held me, and told me, “We can do this”. But I wasn’t sure. And they came. We smiled and laughed. And Tim and I hurt through our broken and scared excitement, As we continued to keep this secret from our friends and family. Our baby was a boy. Tim got his boy. We accepted baby boy gifts and clothes,and said Thank you over and over, all while wondering if he would ever even live long enough to wear them. We stored them away and never looked at them again. It hurt to much.  

  

Our Sweet, Boman “Bo” Samuel Dues, was delivered stillborn at 31 weeks. His heart had just stopped beating. We delivered the most beautiful little man. A little man who never even took a breath of earthly air, but brought such happiness and growth to so many people. He looked just like his big sister, Maple. We were, and still are, madly in love with him. 

The day or two before Bo’s funeral service, my friend, Millie, brought me over a Garland of Hearts that she had made in Bo’s heterotaxy colors. We displayed it proud at his funeral near his casket, and we still display it proudly in our home. It accompanies us at all our family pictures we take as our remembrance of Bo and his place as our son in our family. We will never be less than a family of 4. 

   
    
 This gift is something I have held in my hands, as my heart and soul had let loose and the tears were uncontrollable. I have held this Garland while praying for my family and praying for healing for our hearts. 

We wanted to share this same gift to other families who have lost a loved one. A child, a brother, or a sister. Parents, or grandparents. Anyone who is feeling grief. So we are making these available for sale, and a portion of the proceeds are going to “The Will to Choose” Ministry to help other bereaved parents with the cost of losing a child. 

Each day we are healing, each day we are smiling… But I can honestly say this….I’ve never felt hurt like I have this last year…. But, I also have never felt strength the way I have in this past year. I have never felt love the way I have this past year. Support. Friendship. Stability. I’ve never felt God the way that I have this past year. 

I can’t explain it to some one who doesn’t believe. It just is. It’s just his love for me. He loves me. Strengthens me. Stabilizes me. Supports me. 

He’s the one who stands out this past year. Not the attack against my son. It’s the Goodness of God that shines above all.

God is good. 
Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in HOPE; patient in tribulations, continuing steadfastly in prayer;”

[Just a few examples of heart garlands that can be custom made and gifted to bereaved families NOW!… ]

   (For congenital heart disease) 

 [For rainbow babies]

  [For heterotaxy]

(Or maybe your child had a favorite color combo that would remind you of them and be a comfort to have hanging in your home) 

*please email (Hopegarlands@yahoo.com) to request a garland for a bereaved parent in your life.. Or yourself if you have suffered this type of devastating loss.*

Themed Hope garlands will be available for purchase soon. Thank you for being patient!